Crazy Bus Ride

The bus ride home today was crazy (not because I was daydreaming either).

I was taking a bus home in the middle of the day so it was pretty full. The driver was pretty quiet for a while except he kept honking at people we passed and waving. He seemed pretty cheerful. I figured he was being nice to see whether they wanted to catch that bus. Well, as we got onto the main roads, he made an announcement asking if anybody was wanting a certain stop (no) so he said we were gonna pass it to make up some time. He's still honking at people... If people don't look right away at the honk, he KEEPS honking. Nothing that unusual except he keeps the PA system on and is talking a lot while waving at everybody we pass.

At one red light, he makes the whippoorwill noise with his hands for a while. Then, he asks if anybody has a March birthday (I don't speak up), then April-someone does. He gets her name-Crystal.

Into the PA system, he says, "Hey Crystal, it's your birthday. Hey hey. Well, this bus ride is officially for Crystal. It's alllll for her. Now, everybody giver a hand. Yaaaay! Make some noise!!"

People are laughing at this point and clap.

"Now, we're going to sing happy birthday to her. If you don't sing, I don't stop when you ring the bell. I mean, I just won't hear the bell if you ring it. So watch yourselves. Now, sing."

People sing happy birthday to Crystal.

"Now, Crystal, do you have a boyfriend? Yes? Damn. Well, is he here? No? Ok, now any single guys on the bus?"

Nobody answers.

"I know you're lying-look at this pretty girl. You know you want to stalk her. I know how it is-you're dating someone, then she leaves or you kick her out... I can hook you up with a date for this Saturday with Crystal and I can pick you both up as long as you have your BusPass card."

More laughter. He keeps going. It was hilarious. I'd seen him before and he didn't seem crazy. He kept commenting about idiot drivers cutting him off, and said when people got off "Don't trip when you step down. Or I'll laugh." Crazy dude. I got off the bus as quickly as I could. Though, it was better than my usual bus ride daydreams.

Labels: daily weird funny

posted by Sarah @ 3:13 PM